Hizashi said he was only washing up, but he was in there so long she began to wonder. She lay down on the bed, cuddling with her new plushie and sighing.
Her mind wandered, thinking hard for what seemed the millionth time on her situation.
This was not a normal dating scenario - or anything she knew about, for that matter. From what she could untangle in her heart and mind she knew she certainly lusted after Shota. That <i>was</i> his skill; he made people want him. But Hizashi was different, and not just because he was the opposite of the demon in general. The guilt she felt every time she lay with the incubus was terrible, because she knew it hurt him. She wanted them both sexually, yes. But she felt a deeper connection to the angel, a purer emotion she felt wasn't connected to any power he might be exuding.
But -
But <i>what</i>?
Elly concentrated, forcing herself to imagine life without both of them. Tears stung her eyes at the thought and she buried her face in her pillow. The images that came to her mind caused her heart to pound and her throat to constrict as well.
How could she live without seeing those greenish-gold eyes with the mesmerizing spirals every day? And his long, blond hair that shone like spun gold in the sunlight. He insisted on wearing those red-rimmed glasses as well, a silly affectation that struck her as so human.
<i>I love Hizashi</i>.
(<i>...and Shota?</i>)
<i><b>Hizashi.</i></b>
For now, the one certainty was enough. She closed her eyes and concentrated on that truth, blotting out the needling extra thoughts that plagued her.
It was during this time that Hizashi crept up on her unawares. He stared down at her silently for a few seconds, then sighed and brushed a lock of hair away from her tense forehead.
"I love you whether or not it should damn me forever," he whispered. "I don't care anymore. Wherever you are is my heaven." A light, choral singing faded off into a questioning tone after the briefest of moments - enough for her to question her sanity once again since the two Beings had come into her life.
Elly lifted her head in time to see him trying to sneak back out the door. "Hizashi."
He froze in the act of stepping into the hall. "You - you didn't hear that, did you?"
"Yeah."
"All of it?" He walked back to stand beside her as she knelt on the bed to get closer.
"Yeah."
His huge smile was shaky and he started waving his hands wildly around as he tried to deflect any fallout. "I - I meant it, of course, but you don't hafta say anything or even acknowledge -"
"Hizashi."
He gulped. "Uh huh?"
"I love you, too." She took his hands in hers and squeezed lightly.
"Um!" His eyes were glistening with overly emotional tears. "Ohhh. I didn't think of what would happen if you ever said it <i>back</i>."
"Just kiss me."
"I can do that." He brushed his lips on hers and slowly, gently deepened the kiss when she wrapped her arms around him. His mustache points were as soft as she remembered and they rubbed and tickled her as he moved. The angel's smell, close up, was still the delicious, sweet scent that reminded her of bubblegum. She closed her eyes and forgot everything but what she could smell, taste and feel. The kisses went on and on, and at some point she was mildly surprised to feel his soft weight as he rested his body on top of hers.
Hizashi held himself up on his arms so he wasn't too heavy and kept kissing. She grew bolder, her hands wandering now that he was so close. Elly slipped her hands under his shirt and traced his chest and abdomen with gentle fingertips, feeling his soft chest hair and the muscles that jumped under his skin. He was fit, but oddly seemed less than she'd thought when she recalled his strength. The muscles were all defined but not overly pronounced, a sweet medium that she found perfect.
He chewed anxiously on his lower lip and then suddenly, without any warning at all, crushed his mouth to hers in a kiss that <i>ached</i> of desire. Hizashi didn't hold back for once, and his steady, low whine was matched by her moans of shock as his passion overwhelmed her.
As he knelt atop her, head hanging low, locks of his golden hair that had fallen free from the bun dangled temptingly down. "I don't know how, or even what," he whimpered in between kisses, "but I - I <i>want</i>." His eyes glowed in the twilight of the dim bedroom, shining briefly just like the voices she'd thought she heard earlier. "I want ...you."
"Yes." She shivered as she met his gaze and tucked those long pieces of hair behind his ears. "Me, too. But you don't have to do more than you're comfortable with, okay?"
He nodded but trembled, his fear of the unknown and desire warring with each other. "I don't know what'll happen."
"If we do this right, we'll both feel good."
"Uh huh." He paused then, biting his lower lip once more. The skin had become worried, redder than usual by his anxious nibbling at it. "Um... I'm not sure I'm ready to go all the way? Is that right?"
Elly nodded. Her fingers grazed the sore spot on his lip, lingering while she thought. "What do you want?"
The angel blinked, taken aback by her bold question. "Well, um. I don't know. I want us to f...?" He drew the letter out, embarrassed.
She winced. "Zashi, sweetheart, there's a word you definitely do <i>not</i> mean that starts with an 'f'."
"Oh!" He turned beet red. "Finish! I meant finish. You know, like when I tense up when we kiss. I feel like I'm gonna explode, but I never do..?"
She took a deep breath and moved her legs, where he was resting his lower body lightly on her thighs. "I can feel you." He jerked his hips up, face flaming even darker than before, and she shook her head and caressed his cheek in one hand. "It's okay. I <i>like</i> feeling you. It's a natural human reaction to someone they're attracted to."
"Well, I'm not human."
"I know. But you're in the form." She shrugged. "Your body's reacting the way a human would by getting hard there."
"I've gotten to this point before on my own," he confessed, embarrassed. "I can't - but I can't... you know? I don't, really. I'm not, uh, wasn't even supposed to learn about it."
"It's not a bad thing, Zashi."
He hesitated to tell her he was afraid there might be literal fire and brimstone involved. And although he meant it when he said he would love her anyway, the idea of losing everything he'd known was horrifying.
<i>It's the smiting. I'm</i> really <i>afraid of the smiting</i>.
That aside, though...
"It is for me," he groaned. "I get h - hard and then after awhile it really hurts!"
"I've got an idea. Go get one of those loose pairs of sweatpants you wear to bed out of the hamper and put them on."
His nose wrinkled cutely, mustache points moving about. "Dirty ones?"
"Well, yes." She smiled at him. "Unless you prefer to make a mess in clean ones."
His eyes widened in understanding. "No underwear, just -?"
"Uh huh. Then come back."
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