Crash Course

The students watched, frowning, as their English teacher bit his lip and stood staring at them in awkward silence. They had filed in as usual, talking and laughing, then saw that Present Mic had a visitor sitting at his desk today.

Midoriya raised his hand. "Are you going to be helping us again, Ms. Cheshire?"

"Sort of." She flicked her ears and covered a smile with one gloved hand as Mic let out a wheezy, low whine from beside her.

"We've gotta talk about, uh. Something different."

Elly drew herself up with a deep breath. "Consider this an add-on to your sex education initiative."

Mineta blinked in shock. "Wait, you're going to whaaaat?"

"We're going to talk to you all about sex. Specifically about quirk control." Elly tilted her head to one side as she stared out at the students of class 1-A. "Sex is wet and sticky and messy and gross, but if you do it right, you don't care." The kids stared incredulously at her blunt description. Some of them that had been to her office to talk with her before were not shocked, however. They knew she didn't mince words.

Her boyfriend shrugged. "And that, right there, can be the problem. The not caring bit. For those of you with destructive quirks, you gotta be careful when yer getting it on."

Several teenagers groaned and quite a few hid their faces in their hands.

"We have to talk about it. And, lucky me, I was the staff pick - all 'cause of my quirk."

"Not entirely," Elly coughed lightly. "I believe Mr. Principal said it was also your punishment for our third bedroom window you broke this month..."

He flailed his hands about wildly, both coming to a rest on her mouth. "Whoa, whoa there, I'm sure they don't care about all the details!" He was starting to sweat and grinned nervously.

Bakugo snickered. "Can't control his quirk."

Several of his classmates shot him dirty looks but he just scowled at them in response. Mineta choked out loud again, a trickle of blood running from both his nostrils.

"Yeah, so, uh." Mic pointed at his neck speaker. "When I'm not wearin' this, all bets are off. I can't control the direction or mute myself if I get too loud by - uh, by accident."

Elly winced, her furry ears folding down in recollection. "You think he's loud from far away, like in your test he told me about..." She nodded to Jiro and Koji. "Imagine if he was right next to you."

The girl's face screwed up in agony at the memory and also partial disgust at the thought of the teachers in the act. "He made my ears bleed."

"Yeah. It's completely debilitating close up. Trust me."

Mic whimpered sadly, his eyebrows drawing tightly together as he stared forlornly at her. "I'm still really sorry about that, baby!"

"I know you didn't mean it, Mikey." She shook her head and shuddered.

"Oh, I meant it. I didn't want to hurt you, though."

"Why can't you wear noise cancelling headphones?" Midoriya was, of course, going about this in the most practical way. He had been muttering to himself for awhile and this was the best solution he had thought up.

"Two reasons," she answered, smiling. "I like Mic's regular voice when he's not deafening me, and headphones muffle it too much. The main one, though, is they really don't help if he 'sounds off' that close."

Jiro nodded. She had been holding her hands tightly over her ears that day and the capillaries in her ears had bled anyway - at a great distance, besides.

"Yeah, we tried that," Mic grumbled.

"Then why not keep the speaker on?" Iida pointed out the obvious, albeit diffidently as he didn't really approve of the subject material.

"Obvious reasons, again. He can still blast through walls with it on. And, really..." She stood up and demonstrated how clunky the apparatus was. "It's hard to kiss with it on. I know you've seen us manage ..."

"A lot," Mineta added unhelpfully.

She ignored this and continued. "But really, we both prefer it off. It's kind of a hazard in itself."

"It's - it's freaking difficult, but you have to really try to understand how important it is. I once blew out the windows in a five mile radius..."

The class erupted into laughter and shocked sounds.

"Hey hey! I'm serious right now, okay?" He was blushing as furiously as his students as he poked a long finger on his prescription shades, dragging them down to stare out at them. "For real, yo. You have what feels like a firm grip on your quirks now, but in the heat of passion you forget.

"So we don't own any glass ware in our home at all, for instance. Everything is plastic or sound-proofed glass. But that's our apartment, and we're adults. You guys're too young to have your own places so you've got to be alert."

The bell rang and they filed out, talking amongst themselves.

"Gross. I don't want to think of them doing ...stuff," somebody muttered.

"Well, they're people. Not just teachers and pro heroes. People do that."

"Baby, I never wanna do that again." Inside the now-empty room, Mic had slumped over his girlfriend and was hiding his burning face in the soft fur of her costume.

"Well! Good news," she said lightly. "Only several more classes to go."

"Ughhhh."