Counseling: bus rides

Elly woke early one morning in alarm, pressing her face into the pillow as she shook violently. She clutched the sheets, twisting them and choking her tears back.

"Z - Zashi?"

Hizashi yawned hugely as he walked back in from the bathroom, trying to keep his noise level down. He was thinking how nice it was going to be to sleep in for once and scratching his chest sleepily. It was only after he got back into bed and felt her shaking that he realized something was wrong. 

"Babe? You okay?" He reached over and pulled her to him. 

"Flashback," she apologized shortly.

"Uh oh. Tell me an' I'll brace myself, here."

"When I was a little girl, first going to school, the kids on the bus picked me out immediately since I was different. I was a straight, white little girl, from a lower end, middle-class family. That wasn’t <i>quite</i> the problem. The problem, I think, was that I didn’t understand how to act around other kids. My mother never let me play with kids, so I didn't understand them. I tried, but it was obvious that I was different."

"Your upbringing molded you that way," he agreed.

"So they called me names. That wasn’t too bad, since everyone did that to me. I mean, my family did. I thought it was just my lot in life." She shrugged, and he stared at her sadly. No one should have to think that as a child.

She paused, knowing this next would upset him. "But then they started throwing weed briars at me. The kind that get stuck in your skin or hair and hurt. And after that, they - they started throwing stones."

"Oh, no, baby!" His eyes had gone giant, his face draining of all color. "No. Oh, no. What?"

"Yep. I got stoned by the bigger kids like it was the middle ages. Rocks thrown at me."

Hizashi quite nearly lost his mind. He grabbed her tighter, pulling her into his lap and wrapping his arms around her. He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, everywhere he could reach as if to confirm that she was here and okay. His body was shaking. 

"Babe, if we have a kid some day, and anything bad like that happened, I'd fucking lose my mind!"

"So would I. I - I don't know what I would do."

"But - but, and wasn't there a bus driver? Yeah, what the hell?!"

She snorted disdainfully. "The bus driver never said a word to try to help me. Adults never protected or helped me. My mother, after asking what I did to 'make' the kids do that to me, finally called the school. She had to do this a number of times, because it never worked.

"Finally the system decided they would give me an assigned seat, as no one would sit with me, and make me the last pick up and first drop off at school. All this did was shorten the time I spent being bullied. The kids ramped up the verbal abuse because they knew they had less time to do it in. 

"Add those bus rides to going to school where I was equally abused is the reason I can't eat breakfast sometimes. I've kind of gotten over it, but I still have to force myself to eat in the morning because it makes me ill."

"Knowing that was going to happen to you every day, I mean, could you eat? I couldn't.  Oh, shit babe." His voice cracked. "Shitfuck. I - I can't  -- okay, this one fucked my mind. I'm gonna take you out somewhere special today."

She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "You know you don't have to. This," she vaguely indicated how he was holding her, "is really all I want."

"My princess," he choked.