Moy Mell, 14: Caged

"Moy Mell, 14: Caged"

orig. 12/00/2017

Zoro, Elly, Sanji, Chris Redfield, Shiro, Aizawa Shota, Knuckles - PG-13

Original Concept, mixed fandoms

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Only Chris knew what had happened to Zoro the night of the spa incident. He'd gotten a text from the head of security, asking him to come help "with something". The message was curt, and didn't elaborate on what the "something" might be. Upon arriving at the complex's common area where he'd been told to meet, he spotted Zoro looking an absolute mess. His hair was ruffled and he was wearing a white shirt instead of the coat he normally wore. It was stained in sweat, evidence that he had been working out nonstop and hadn't even bothered to shower before coming here. He held up a hand when the other man would have spoken, silencing Chris before he even opened his mouth.

"Have to go back to the gym," he explained curtly. "Need someone else to take over. Will you?"

"Well, yes, but what -"

"Kitchen," he grunted shortly, and now Chris saw that his bluntness was a mask for other emotions he was trying to hide. His single eye was red, with a smudge of dark underneath that gave him an unhealthy appearance. He turned and walked as fast as he could out the doors, leaving Chris stunned at how shaken he appeared. When he arrived at the kitchen in the mansion he didn't know what had gotten the swordsman so upset, but as the night wore on his eyes were opened more and more. He kept silent and did his job, only interfering when he heard the terrible roar from inside the beach house. Once Elly had left, he'd turned to the blond man and warned him to be careful. The cook's mood was morose as he replied that he was trying.

"I messed up, I think," he admitted sheepishly. "Maybe too far, too fast. She's ... she's not like other women."

"She's not a woman." Chris reminded him gently. "Look, I know that you're in love and everything, but don't forget she has different rules than the rest of us. Like the tail thing."

"Yeah, she goes all to pieces. I didn't even touch it. I swear."

Chris sighed. "I have to follow. Just leave her alone for awhile, all right?"

They'd agreed, and everything went smoothly after that. Of course, he said nothing about it to Zoro the next day at the briefing. The others were all chatting and drinking coffee, not thinking much of his appearance as everyone was worried and many weren't looking their best. Their leader made sure to show his gratitude before addressing his team.

"Thanks," he said, coming up to clap him on the shoulder.

"Not a problem." Chris replied in as inoffensive a tone as possible.

The green-haired man sighed and ran a hand across his haggard features. "Jackson, you said you had something for us."

"I found out who the stalker is!"

He slammed his hands on the table, his eye lighting up. "Good work! Who?"

The nerdy young man slipped his phone out of his pocket and typed something in. "Here - it'll show up on the screen in the corner." He pointed, and they all blinked at the blown up photo of a young woman in a waitressing outfit from All Blue. 

"That's, uh, not someone I would think of," someone said quietly. 

"They aren't all gonna be creepy old weirdos," Knuckles grunted.

"Well put," Chris murmured. 

"It makes sense," Zoro added. "The last death threat, it mentioned the idiot cook and how their ... relationship was crap." No one seemed to notice the slight pause as he choked that word out, but Chris raised an eyebrow. 

"I sent the work to the local police chapter, but they said we get to detain her as she won't suspect anything if some of us go to the restaurant. Preferably with Sanji as well, since it would look weird otherwise. 'Cause it's his restaurant. You know."

Zoro nodded. "Her shift starts in...?"

"A few hours. She's breakfast run this morning."

"All right. Chris, Shiro, you're with me. We're going to talk to that moron so he knows what's going on first."  

When they got to the mansion, they found Sanji sitting in the living room looking for all the world like a little kid put in "time out". He was pale except for a hard blush across his cheeks that wouldn't seem to go away and there were wads of bloody tissue stuffed up his nose.

"What the hell, cook?" Zoro raised an eyebrow at his comical appearance.

"Angel has a friend over," he shrugged uncomfortably as if that explained everything.

Shiro also raised his eyebrows. "And she drained you of all your blood? Vampire?"

"Succubus," Chris surmised.

Sanji nodded grimly. "It hasn't been the best morning."

"Moron," Zoro snarled. When the other would have argued back, though, he held up a hand. "Shut up. Something important is going to happen, and you have to be a part of it."

The cook did not take the news well. When Zoro explained they'd caught the culprit he was happy, but upon hearing who it was his face fell. 

"It was my fault." He grasped the knot of his tie and cinched it tighter around his neck, perhaps unconsciously. Shiro scratched the back of his neck, staring off into the distance and mock-whistling. Chris elbowed him. 

"No time for that." Zoro shrugged. "You have to come with us when we detain her."

"She's - uh, you're not going to do it, are you? Personally?"

"No." Chris stepped up. "Shiro and I have the details of the job. We'll bring her into the center for the cops to pick up."

"I'm gonna have to talk to Aizawa." Zoro strode confidently to the kitchen door. 

Sanji squeaked comically. "W - wait! You ass! That other girl's still in there and she's - !"

Inside, Elly was sighing dismally to her friend. "I almost attacked him. And he didn't even touch it, you know - just got kind of close." She waved her tail around behind her as she spoke.

"You know I'm not gonna say much about relationships." The succubus was dressed as her kind normally were with a lot of heart cutouts and patterns on what little fabric the outfit contained. Her wings fluttered as she pondered what the other demoness said, tracing circles around her coffee cup. When Elly had called to ask to chat, she'd thought it would be because things were getting better. But now she wasn't sure what to say to comfort her friend. 

 "Yeah. But I am attracted to him, Bella!"

"Uh huh." She raised her cup and drank, peering at her over the rim. "The one that came in here and fainted when he saw me?"

"Um. Yeah." Her ears drooped a bit. She knew what a man's reaction to a succubus would be, knew they had very little control, but it still made her unhappy that he'd responded as much as he had. Bella said nothing again. She knew her power disturbed others sometimes, even her best friend. 

Oddly, though, the guard in the corner hadn't seemed affected. They didn't notice him because he was standing so silently and off to the side, but Shota Aizawa kept his gaze firmly on his surroundings and Elly. He tensed all over when the door opened, but nodded when he saw his boss.

"Hey." Zoro strode over, grunting at Elly. Bella raised her eyebrows. As she watched incredulously, the green-haired man walked over to the older, darker haired one and talked quietly for a time. Neither one had the reaction that Sanji had from looking at her. 

"I think we're missing something serious." Aizawa shook his head. "I know I've only been here a month, but this seems too easy. May we talk more about it?"

Zoro frowned. "Too easy? All right - Shiro, get in here!"

"Uh, what's up?" He stared right at the succubus and didn't blink. "Hi, Bella."

"Hey, kiddo." This one didn't surprise her at all; there were some men that simply didn't prefer succubi. She could smell it on them. 

"What do you need me for?" 

"Stay here. Aizawa wants to discuss something with me."

Moy Mell 13: The Night Spa, Part 2

"Moy Mell, 13: The Night Spa, Part 2"

orig. 3/06/2018

Elly, Sanji, Chris Redfield - adult

Original Concept, mixed fandoms

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The cabana had been transformed. Not a single electric light was turned on. Instead, candles filled the tables and areas around a small but artfully placed pile of cushions in the corner. More flowers than she had ever seen filled the spaces that were left, and as she took everything in she spied an obligatory trail of rose petals leading to the pile of pillows. She chuckled to herself.

The smell was something she just couldn't get over. Elly had a sensitive nose and scents really meant a lot to her. The delicious smell of roses mixed into a heady musk with a touch of exotic cigarette smoke. Of course she knew who was behind this, and was not surprised when Sanji came strolling out of the back room to greet her. What surprised her was what he was wearing: a soft-looking blue robe with Asian deer embroidered on it, open at the front to display his pale, bare chest. His matching pants had the same fine embroidery work on them and looked, as always, impeccable and expensive. His cigarette was in a holder of sorts and she recognized it from her past. She flicked her ears, amused that he'd gone to so much trouble to look how people had so long ago. She also found it adorable that he was barefoot, but of course the cabana had smooth wooden floors and soft throw carpets in the back room.

"Welcome to my night spa," he said in a thrilling voice, depositing his cigarette in a specially-made ashtray. The flame went out at once and the smoke was sucked discreetly away by a tiny fan. "I heard that cats like to get their backs rubbed," he went on slyly, "and I give excellent massages."

Elly swallowed past a sudden blockage in her throat. "Oh," was all she could say.

"You can take off as much or as little as you want," he offered as he handed her a soft robe. "Don't feel obligated for anything... this is your night. I'm just your humble servant." He bowed slightly and turned his back. She peered closely at him. He was, in fact, a true gentleman despite what his pervy nature might indicate. As she was fully convinced he wouldn't turn around until she said so, she stripped her top off, setting it aside. She thought for a moment, and then unhooked her bra as well, placing it underneath so as to hide it. The robe opened at both the front and back, and she carefully laced the front while keeping the back loose with only one tie done. After a moment or two she cleared her throat. 

"All right."

"Lay down on the cushions and I'll join you in a moment, okay?"

"Yes." She patted a few here and there, testing their plumpness, and found them to be more than satisfactory. A special head pillow for massages was at the top of the stack, and she pulled it up and fidgeted around until she was comfortable. She sighed.
   
"There we are." She heard his voice close to her and jumped slightly. "Poor baby, are we nervous?"

"No, it's all right," she laughed. "You just started me."

He placed a hand on the slight curve of her back. "I'm going to unwrap this now, okay?"

"Mmm."

"Here we go." Sanji parted the back of the robe and pursed his lips. Her back was barren of any cloth and he pressed a hand to his mouth, his heart beating with excitement. He nodded, noticing she'd left everything on below her waist. It's what he had expected and he was thrilled just to have an open invitation to her full back, devoid of the bathing suit he had to work around when she was at the pool. He dipped his hands into a warm bowl of oil nearby and began. He felt the tension in her shoulders and worked especially hard to remove that for her, smiling when she began to purr. That was a very good sign, but an even better one was when she sighed his name ever so softly as he ran a finger down her spine. He finished up with patting her dry in a few spots where the oil had accumulated and looked proudly down at his handiwork.

"Was that good?"

"So good," the breath whistled out of her.

"I'm glad. You deserve it, darling, and so much more." His voice was closer now, and her right ear flicked towards the sound.

"Mmm, more?"

"More. Please let me please you," he breathed softly beside her. "I promise I won't take things too far, and besides, you've already shown me what you desire." 

"Wh - what do you mean, I've already shown you?"

"I meant this." He reached around and cupped her breasts, squeezing gently. "You're nude from the waist up, my dear." He stroked one and she quivered underneath him. "Ah," he breathed reverently, "is that why? Does my lady have sensitive nipples?"

"Wait," she choked nervously before he could touch anywhere closer to where he'd suggested.

"Remember, this is all for you," Sanji murmured reassuringly. "I want nothing in return ... except, maybe, for a couple breathy cries of my name." He kissed her neck, ever so lightly rolling a pert nipple between his fingers.

Elly gasped. "Ah, Sanji!"

"Like that," he sighed in bliss. "Now, more, sweetheart, here..." He bent further forward, his warm breath on her cheek. Both hands teased the small nubs of flesh, bringing her to a state of arousal she hadn't felt in a long time. The massage had loosened her up; his gentle play was causing her body to tense again but in a very different way this time. And still he stroked and tempted her with feathery touches that were starting to heat up in intensity. She turned her face around to meet him and he moaned, allowing himself one shivering, passion-filled kiss. Then he pulled back with a soft intake of air.

"Sanji?"

"I have to stop," he husked. "I'm... too excited." His chest was heaving and he placed a hand over his heart. "Oh. Oh, my angel, my precious angel." His hand clutched at his robe desperately, his eyes widening.

"Don't stop," she whispered. She had turned around, letting the robe fall open to reveal herself to him. He stared helplessly at the swell of her breasts, unable to look away.

"Baby..."

"You promised," she said with a little tremor in her voice, "not too far." Her hands lifted what he was fixated on with a little shrug. "But your hands aren't enough now. Your mouth felt so good on my neck..."

"Oh my god," Sanji choked. "Yes. I'll do anything for you." He crawled forward again, this time straddling her in the glowing light of the candles. His golden hair fell onto her like a soft wave and she giggled faintly. He smiled, lips pressed against her neck again. "Ticklish, too? You are my absolute delight." He kissed her sensitive throat and sighed, trailing downward and sparing not a single strip of flesh until he reached her breasts. Elly whimpered when he circled around the edges of a nipple, so precise in his licking that he stayed away from the crinkled flesh by millimeters. Tears sprang forth from the corners of her tightly shut eyes and she flung one arm up to cover them as he drew back again.

"Please."

"Shh," he soothed, reaching out to stroke her hand with a lover's touch. "All in good time. I want to savor my meal before I feast on the main course." The sexy declaration was more than enough to send her over the edge. Elly reached out and at last clung to him like he'd wanted for so long. Her eyes were deep and dark with emotion, her fingers digging into the soft cloth of his robe. 

Their lips met and held in a very long kiss before she broke to breathe, "You're the one that's delicious." He stared incredulously as she slipped her tongue out of her mouth just a little. "All smoky and sweet."

"I can't believe how hard I've fallen for you," he whispered in a hoarse voice that may have been close to tears. Her response was a soft miaow as he bumped into her below and she felt what might have been a pun on his part. But that silken hair was ghosting across her chest now and she lost all thought completely as his lips finally went to where she needed them to go, licking and then suckling tenderly. Sanji raised his hips as he continued to please her, aware what her shivering cries were doing to him below. He didn't want to frighten her with his body's very prominent reaction but he couldn't help it. His beloved's hands were threading through his hair, caressing and pulling him against her. He went on for some time, fully goading each nipple until they were swollen and even more sensitive than before he'd started. He moved a little, and that was his mistake.

Sanji truly regretted what happened next, for he would never know what would have happened if they continued. In his passionate daze he'd dropped one hand a bit lower than he intended and brushed her outer thigh, close to her striped tail. He didn't even see her move she was so fast, only heard a frightening shriek of rage and she was in front of him on all fours, back high in the air with her tail lashing wildly about. He ducked as she struck at him with a guttural hiss, then cried out. "Wait! I didn't mean to..!"

Her eyes cleared when she heard how shaky he sounded. "Too close," was all she panted. "You almost touched my tail."

"Sorry," he gasped. Then, louder, in response to the pounding on the door, "It's all right, Chris!"

"Elly?" Chris didn't sound reassured. Sanji swore darkly and stood up, stepping back from the upset demon cat.

"Yeah. It's okay. I'm okay, so's Sanji."

"I'll be right out here then."

"So will I," she announced, leaning over to grab her clothing.

Sanji bit his lip. "Angel, I'm so sorry. I didn't know I was that close to your tail."

She smiled at him, though he shuddered when he saw how much she bared her fangs. That was never a good sign. "I understand. Mistakes happen." She slipped her shirt on quickly and left.

"I hope she doesn't think I'm the mistake," Sanji groaned as he sank down onto the cushions.

Moy Mell 12: The Night Spa, Part 1

"Moy Mell, 12: The Night Spa, Part 1"

orig. 12/15/2017

Zoro, Elly, Sanji, Komatsu, Chris Redfield - PG

Original Concept, mixed fandoms

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"Mail!" Sanji bounced onto the couch next to Elly, who was grinning at him. She liked getting the mail. It took awhile, since security had to leaf through everything, but happy fan mail and invites to galas and events were fun to peruse. She opened and read a few things, made notes to answer some and decline others. Sanji waited until she was done to hold up a fairly ornate envelope.

"You also got this." He handed it over. 

Elly read the card, nodding slowly. "Ooh, Hands of Gold," she murmured.

"That popular new spa?" Sanji's eyes widened. 

"Yeah, they sent a free day pass for me."

"Cat..." Zoro stepped forward slightly from where he had been hovering as unobtrusively as possible behind the couch. He was frowning. The men that combed through the mail should have seen that and declined for her, but now he'd have to tell her it was too dangerous. 

"Yeah, I know. I'll have to turn it down." She sounded disappointed but resigned.

"What? Oh." Sanji realized how hazardous going to a place where your guard was down might be at this time. It was most certainly a recipe for disaster.

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "You're okay with it?"

"It's too risky. I'm not that stupid, just a little spoiled... and cranky. Definitely cranky. I don't want to be cramped up here unable to do anything fun anymore. Especially because some ass decides they want to 'punish' me for some reason. Believe me, I got enough of that in ancient Japan." She rolled her eyes.

Sanji watched her carefully as she laid the invite aside. He got up and kissed her on the cheek. "If it's okay, love, I'm going to head out for the day. I've got some shopping to do."

"Aw. All right."

"I'll be back later!" He waved at her cheerfully as he headed outside. Once he was in his designated bullet car, he frowned and punched in the coordinates for a certain park locale. It took a few minutes, but he was soon dusting himself off in front of an Asian-looking building. People were clustered about the front and inside the shop, but he knew to walk around the back, unlocking the side gate with a key that was a benefit to certain guys in the compound. A few people saw him and snapped photos, but thankfully no one bothered him for a selfie or an autograph this time.

He crushed out his cigarette before he went in, remembering that the owner didn't like smoking in his studio and his dog took certain offense to it, as well. As soon as he walked in and the bell tinkled, a fuzzy head popped up. There was a faint chuffing sound and a shiba inu came around the corner to greet him.

"Hi, Muco." He grinned. "Where's your owner?" She barked excitedly, wagging her tail, and a tall man wearing a heavy apron strode out of the back where a lot of heat was emanating. "Komatsu," he greeted him. "There you are - I thought you might be too busy."

"Sanji?" Komatsu gripped his hand in a friendly shake. "Never too busy for another member of the crew. What're you doing here?"

"Just came over because I thought I wanted something special for Angel."

"Ah," the other man smiled knowingly. Muco sneezed again.

"Sorry," Sanji apologized. "I know your nose is sensitive, girl." He bent to pat her as she nudged his legs. "Uh, so I wanted to see if you had anything that would hold small candles for the cabana. A few of them so it would look really nice at night."

"Maybe two inches, three inches high?" 

"Yep." Sanji nodded as he scratched Muco's ears. "Those little, chubby ones." The dog rolled over, happily waving all her paws in the air. 

"Those'd be votive holders," Komatsu pointed with his free hand at a table near the workshop. New pieces got placed in the back before he set them outside for park fans to purchase. "I made these so gentle ocean breezes shouldn't blow the wick out. See, the tops are slightly concave." He handed one to the chef, who stood up to hold it up to the light, his eyes taking in the intricate detail. Muco whined, sad the sneezy man wasn't petting her anymore.

"It's her favorite color," he said softly. "All blue, just like the ocean."

"Of course." The glassblower shrugged.

"How many do you have of these?"

"Enough for what you're planning, I think." 

- -

When Elly got a handwritten invitation on her dinner plate that evening, she was a little surprised. It invited her to the "grand opening" of a spa nearby and told her all she had to do was follow the lights outside near the pool when she was ready.

The food had all been set out and Sanji was nowhere to be seen. Zoro had already eaten and was no doubt someplace nearby. Elly ate as slowly as she could, nervous excitement causing her to want to rush and scarf down the meal as hastily as possible to see what he was up to. It had to be Sanji - who else would do something like this? When she had finished and cleaned her setting up, she waved to Chris, who was standing in as her more obvious security of the evening. 

He nodded to her. "I'm going to stand right here, if you don't mind," he told her quietly. He motioned to the side of the patio door. "I'll be out here if you need me, but not too close to the cabana. For, uh, privacy's sake." He blushed a bit.

"Chris Redfield blushing?" Elly blinked. "Oh dear, now I know this is one of Sanji's tricks." As the evening had grown darker, she saw someone had set a trail of candles leading to the cabana house on the side of the pool. The flickering lights were beautiful, and as she walked up to the little beach house a lovely white musk scent wafted out on the light breeze. "Oh, my," she gasped as she opened the door. 

Moy Mell 8: Is There Such a Thing as Bad Publicity?

"Moy Mell, 8: Is There Such a Thing as Bad Publicity?"

orig. 11/20/2017

Zoro, Elly, Sanji, Neuro - PG-13

Original Concept, mixed fandoms

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So many different photographs had been taken and there were almost as many videos. One was exceptionally clear and showed everything that had happened in the restaurant perfectly; there was no confusion that she had grabbed Sanji and kissed him. The news featured this prominently, playing it over and over again. Social media showed millions of views and kept rising. Elly slept late into the next day. She was lethargic and had the headache Law had promised, but she remembered only part of what had happened.

"Honestly," she told the small group that had gathered on one end of the formal dining area. Elly had her head propped up in her hands with a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. Sanji had tried to get her to eat, but she'd pushed the plate aside in favor of the warm brew. "I remember doing some... things, to Sanji." They couldn't see her face but her voice wavered. "And then, Zoro st-stopping me." A hand crept out from her hanging hair and touched her forehead briefly. Her bodyguard flinched at this but remained silent.

Neuro was standing on the other end of the polished table, pacing back and forth. Sanji had given up trying to make him stop since it didn't look like he was scratching the wood under the tablecloth anyway. He sighed when the tall demon stomped a foot down, however.

"Please, Neuro."

"Oh, shut up." He steepled his long fingers and abruptly sat, crossing his legs tightly. "We have more important things to discuss." His eyes rolled over to stare at the green-haired man, who was trying his best to remain expressionless as possible. "I know what happened, by the way."

Zoro shot him a murderous look. "I had to."

"Tsk, tsk." He shook his head. "Well, at least she can move today. All right, we have to stifle the rumors and fix this as soon as possible. They will use this as proof our little shitstain harasser is right."

"But we have proof she was drugged!" Sanji slammed his fist down, causing the plate to rattle.

"That's only proof from our side," Zoro murmured.

"Yes. People can choose to ignore it anyway. Our main problem is even if they did believe she was drugged, the majority won't believe it was from catnip."

"She's not human," Sanji pointed out drily. "Her shit doesn't work the same way. People should know that. I mean... ears, fangs, tail. Right?"

"People believe what they want about demons," Neuro said. "You can trust me on this one," he added with a feral grin. "I do know what I'm talking about."

"Parrot-head," Zoro grunted shortly. He had gone from neutral to angry in only a few moments.

"Please," the demon waved a hand airily about. "I'm not a fan of that type of music at all. It's ghastly."

"You know what I'm talking about!"

Neuro tittered. "This is why you can't be around the media, green-hair. I can break you with the briefest of pokes." He leaned forward, his smile wider and showing a lot of razor-sharp teeth. One long finger pointed directly at the big man. "You snap too easily when it comes to her." Zoro thrust his lip out and turned away from them all.

"I have an idea," Sanji ventured quietly. He'd been watching Elly sink lower onto the table until she was now truly hiding her face in her arms, not only the plate but the coffee forgotten as well.

"Oh?"

He stood and walked to her side, draping an arm about her shoulders. "Angel," he cajoled softly. "It's me. I'm not judging you because of this. You know that." Elly groaned, and he bent forward to speak closer to one of her drooping lavender ears. "Please sit up. I have something to say and would like to look into your beautiful eyes while I say it."

"I fuh-feel so bad," she faltered, lifting her head a little. "I didn't mean to do anything wrong."

Sanji grasped one of her hands loosely in his. "You didn't do anything wrong," he told her stoutly. "And you know it wasn't your fault, so I won't just repeat that to you. I know you feel terrible. If we could just show the public that and tell them the truth, it'd be fine."

"Yeah," Zoro muttered.

"Unfortunately, a lot of people aren't going to believe the truth."

"Like I said." Neuro clasped his hands about his knees, extremely interested in what the chef was saying.

"Yeah. Well, how about we tell them what they saw is okay, because me and - I mean, we're -" Sanji took a deep breath and dug a finger in the thin black tie he was wearing. His suit was impeccable once more, every inch pressed and falling into place. But although his outfit was smart, he had started to stammer and his face burned a very dark red across the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, shit." Zoro knew what that look meant, and he half-raised out of his chair before the blond man started to talk again.

"We could tell them we're dating." Sanji blurted out all at once.

Zoro was on his feet this time. "What?!"

"What?" Elly's ears shot up from where they had been wilting close to the sides of her face. "Sanji!" She turned quickly in her chair, unsure if she wanted to escape him, the entire situation or just his touch.

"Oooooh!" Neuro fell over, howling with mirth at their combined reactions. "Perfect!"

"Listen, I'm sorry if I'm reading into what happened the other day too much." Sanji had jerked back at her response, removing his arm and his hand from hers but still standing close by her side. He placed a hand on his heart and knelt before her, staring deeply into her eyes. "But I think we could do this. I've never hidden the fact that I love you, baby -" He paused just long enough that Zoro started to growl under his breath. "And I know you feel something for me, too."

"It would work, you know," Neuro whispered in her ear.

Elly hissed, jumping forward and crashing into Sanji. They tumbled to the floor in a heap, his arms circling her protectively as she fell. "Damn it, Neuro!" She yelled, her tail frizzing out in irritation. "I'm already a bundle of nerves! Don't do that!" Then she noticed her situation and colored as deeply as the squirming man underneath her. "Um. Oops."

The only person standing still was Zoro. His face had paled slightly, locked in an awkward stasis that he couldn't break. The public relations demon was right - this would work. There was absolutely no reason for him to reject this plan. It would have the media circus licking their collective chops over a juicy topic they loved almost more than scandal: celebrity hookups. He couldn't say anything unless he told her he didn't want this to happen for personal reasons. And the minute he did she would know his biggest secret, and not only reject him, but maybe worse. Could she trust him if he was jealous over who she chose to date? Zoro thought not, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he'd be the first guy to ever be let go from the compound. Not being by her side was something he couldn't live with. So he stood completely frozen in place, a muscle rippling in his jaw as he watched Sanji take from him what he'd wanted for so long.

Elly had extracted herself from the simpering man on the floor and was seated again with a thoughtful look on her face. Her tail had smoothed down but was lashing frantically about, a sign that she was highly agitated. She glanced sideways at Zoro, but seemed confused at his lack of argument.

"You really want to date me?" She asked Sanji dubiously. "I mean, after I went all crazy the other day and could have hurt you?"

"Yes!" He threw himself extravagantly on his face before her and she laughed in spite of herself.

Sanji beamed happily, his eyes lighting up when she smiled. "If I can make you laugh like that when you need to," he crooned, sidling close and laying his head on her lap, "that's all I need to be happy."

"You damn fool," she laughed again. "Okay..." She paused ever so slightly again. Neuro gleefully stared directly into the bodyguard's stoic features as she spoke. "Yes. Let's do it." Zoro didn't even acknowledge that anything had happened other than bringing out his phone. He began to type, letting his team in on the new information. Elly gently removed Sanji's head from her lap and picked up her plate and cup. "Now that's settled, I'll just reheat this."

Sanji moved to follow but Neuro caught his sleeve in one hand. "I'll set up so you two can do a statement about this, and then a few interviews and things," he told him. "We need to do them quickly, if you're okay with that."

"Yes, that's fine." Sanji obviously wanted to go follow his new girlfriend. Neuro cackled and left the room.

"Cook."

"Erk!" He whipped around, golden hair flying. "Shit, moss head, warn me before you -"

"What do you think you're doing?" Zoro grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him close. His single eye burned with malevolence as he snarled at the younger man.

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Finding a perfectly good solution to this shitty problem, and getting a bonus as well." He spoke calmly, knowing he had the upper hand. "You're jealous, aren't you? I can give her what she needs. You can't. It's as simple as that, idiot bodyguard."

"Shut up, you perverted cook, she needs -"

"She needs to be happy more than anything," Sanji snapped, ripping himself out of Zoro's hold and smoothing the wrinkles out of his shirt. "Look, I'm not trying to be insulting this time. But after yesterday, she's uncomfortable around you." Zoro's frown grew deeper, and Sanji held up a hand in a hear-me-out gesture. "Let her work it out on her own. Contrary to what you always call her, she's not stupid, and she should eventually realize you had her best interests at heart."

"Do you?"

"You are jealous," Sanji teased, his lips quirking in a sly smile.

"I'm not fucking jealous!"

"Then you'd better hold that shit in, because as of whatever conference or interviews the bird-demon's setting up, Elly officially has a boyfriend. Me." He whirled about and headed into the kitchen.