Moy Mell 8: Is There Such a Thing as Bad Publicity?

"Moy Mell, 8: Is There Such a Thing as Bad Publicity?"

orig. 11/20/2017

Zoro, Elly, Sanji, Neuro - PG-13

Original Concept, mixed fandoms

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So many different photographs had been taken and there were almost as many videos. One was exceptionally clear and showed everything that had happened in the restaurant perfectly; there was no confusion that she had grabbed Sanji and kissed him. The news featured this prominently, playing it over and over again. Social media showed millions of views and kept rising. Elly slept late into the next day. She was lethargic and had the headache Law had promised, but she remembered only part of what had happened.

"Honestly," she told the small group that had gathered on one end of the formal dining area. Elly had her head propped up in her hands with a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. Sanji had tried to get her to eat, but she'd pushed the plate aside in favor of the warm brew. "I remember doing some... things, to Sanji." They couldn't see her face but her voice wavered. "And then, Zoro st-stopping me." A hand crept out from her hanging hair and touched her forehead briefly. Her bodyguard flinched at this but remained silent.

Neuro was standing on the other end of the polished table, pacing back and forth. Sanji had given up trying to make him stop since it didn't look like he was scratching the wood under the tablecloth anyway. He sighed when the tall demon stomped a foot down, however.

"Please, Neuro."

"Oh, shut up." He steepled his long fingers and abruptly sat, crossing his legs tightly. "We have more important things to discuss." His eyes rolled over to stare at the green-haired man, who was trying his best to remain expressionless as possible. "I know what happened, by the way."

Zoro shot him a murderous look. "I had to."

"Tsk, tsk." He shook his head. "Well, at least she can move today. All right, we have to stifle the rumors and fix this as soon as possible. They will use this as proof our little shitstain harasser is right."

"But we have proof she was drugged!" Sanji slammed his fist down, causing the plate to rattle.

"That's only proof from our side," Zoro murmured.

"Yes. People can choose to ignore it anyway. Our main problem is even if they did believe she was drugged, the majority won't believe it was from catnip."

"She's not human," Sanji pointed out drily. "Her shit doesn't work the same way. People should know that. I mean... ears, fangs, tail. Right?"

"People believe what they want about demons," Neuro said. "You can trust me on this one," he added with a feral grin. "I do know what I'm talking about."

"Parrot-head," Zoro grunted shortly. He had gone from neutral to angry in only a few moments.

"Please," the demon waved a hand airily about. "I'm not a fan of that type of music at all. It's ghastly."

"You know what I'm talking about!"

Neuro tittered. "This is why you can't be around the media, green-hair. I can break you with the briefest of pokes." He leaned forward, his smile wider and showing a lot of razor-sharp teeth. One long finger pointed directly at the big man. "You snap too easily when it comes to her." Zoro thrust his lip out and turned away from them all.

"I have an idea," Sanji ventured quietly. He'd been watching Elly sink lower onto the table until she was now truly hiding her face in her arms, not only the plate but the coffee forgotten as well.

"Oh?"

He stood and walked to her side, draping an arm about her shoulders. "Angel," he cajoled softly. "It's me. I'm not judging you because of this. You know that." Elly groaned, and he bent forward to speak closer to one of her drooping lavender ears. "Please sit up. I have something to say and would like to look into your beautiful eyes while I say it."

"I fuh-feel so bad," she faltered, lifting her head a little. "I didn't mean to do anything wrong."

Sanji grasped one of her hands loosely in his. "You didn't do anything wrong," he told her stoutly. "And you know it wasn't your fault, so I won't just repeat that to you. I know you feel terrible. If we could just show the public that and tell them the truth, it'd be fine."

"Yeah," Zoro muttered.

"Unfortunately, a lot of people aren't going to believe the truth."

"Like I said." Neuro clasped his hands about his knees, extremely interested in what the chef was saying.

"Yeah. Well, how about we tell them what they saw is okay, because me and - I mean, we're -" Sanji took a deep breath and dug a finger in the thin black tie he was wearing. His suit was impeccable once more, every inch pressed and falling into place. But although his outfit was smart, he had started to stammer and his face burned a very dark red across the bridge of his nose.

"Oh, shit." Zoro knew what that look meant, and he half-raised out of his chair before the blond man started to talk again.

"We could tell them we're dating." Sanji blurted out all at once.

Zoro was on his feet this time. "What?!"

"What?" Elly's ears shot up from where they had been wilting close to the sides of her face. "Sanji!" She turned quickly in her chair, unsure if she wanted to escape him, the entire situation or just his touch.

"Oooooh!" Neuro fell over, howling with mirth at their combined reactions. "Perfect!"

"Listen, I'm sorry if I'm reading into what happened the other day too much." Sanji had jerked back at her response, removing his arm and his hand from hers but still standing close by her side. He placed a hand on his heart and knelt before her, staring deeply into her eyes. "But I think we could do this. I've never hidden the fact that I love you, baby -" He paused just long enough that Zoro started to growl under his breath. "And I know you feel something for me, too."

"It would work, you know," Neuro whispered in her ear.

Elly hissed, jumping forward and crashing into Sanji. They tumbled to the floor in a heap, his arms circling her protectively as she fell. "Damn it, Neuro!" She yelled, her tail frizzing out in irritation. "I'm already a bundle of nerves! Don't do that!" Then she noticed her situation and colored as deeply as the squirming man underneath her. "Um. Oops."

The only person standing still was Zoro. His face had paled slightly, locked in an awkward stasis that he couldn't break. The public relations demon was right - this would work. There was absolutely no reason for him to reject this plan. It would have the media circus licking their collective chops over a juicy topic they loved almost more than scandal: celebrity hookups. He couldn't say anything unless he told her he didn't want this to happen for personal reasons. And the minute he did she would know his biggest secret, and not only reject him, but maybe worse. Could she trust him if he was jealous over who she chose to date? Zoro thought not, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he'd be the first guy to ever be let go from the compound. Not being by her side was something he couldn't live with. So he stood completely frozen in place, a muscle rippling in his jaw as he watched Sanji take from him what he'd wanted for so long.

Elly had extracted herself from the simpering man on the floor and was seated again with a thoughtful look on her face. Her tail had smoothed down but was lashing frantically about, a sign that she was highly agitated. She glanced sideways at Zoro, but seemed confused at his lack of argument.

"You really want to date me?" She asked Sanji dubiously. "I mean, after I went all crazy the other day and could have hurt you?"

"Yes!" He threw himself extravagantly on his face before her and she laughed in spite of herself.

Sanji beamed happily, his eyes lighting up when she smiled. "If I can make you laugh like that when you need to," he crooned, sidling close and laying his head on her lap, "that's all I need to be happy."

"You damn fool," she laughed again. "Okay..." She paused ever so slightly again. Neuro gleefully stared directly into the bodyguard's stoic features as she spoke. "Yes. Let's do it." Zoro didn't even acknowledge that anything had happened other than bringing out his phone. He began to type, letting his team in on the new information. Elly gently removed Sanji's head from her lap and picked up her plate and cup. "Now that's settled, I'll just reheat this."

Sanji moved to follow but Neuro caught his sleeve in one hand. "I'll set up so you two can do a statement about this, and then a few interviews and things," he told him. "We need to do them quickly, if you're okay with that."

"Yes, that's fine." Sanji obviously wanted to go follow his new girlfriend. Neuro cackled and left the room.

"Cook."

"Erk!" He whipped around, golden hair flying. "Shit, moss head, warn me before you -"

"What do you think you're doing?" Zoro grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him close. His single eye burned with malevolence as he snarled at the younger man.

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Finding a perfectly good solution to this shitty problem, and getting a bonus as well." He spoke calmly, knowing he had the upper hand. "You're jealous, aren't you? I can give her what she needs. You can't. It's as simple as that, idiot bodyguard."

"Shut up, you perverted cook, she needs -"

"She needs to be happy more than anything," Sanji snapped, ripping himself out of Zoro's hold and smoothing the wrinkles out of his shirt. "Look, I'm not trying to be insulting this time. But after yesterday, she's uncomfortable around you." Zoro's frown grew deeper, and Sanji held up a hand in a hear-me-out gesture. "Let her work it out on her own. Contrary to what you always call her, she's not stupid, and she should eventually realize you had her best interests at heart."

"Do you?"

"You are jealous," Sanji teased, his lips quirking in a sly smile.

"I'm not fucking jealous!"

"Then you'd better hold that shit in, because as of whatever conference or interviews the bird-demon's setting up, Elly officially has a boyfriend. Me." He whirled about and headed into the kitchen.